Friday, May 20, 2011

What's the matter? Evidence doesn't matter


The country is going through a massive apocalyptic fever: Judgement Day is on Saturday!

Blame it on Lehman Brothers, Bin Laden, or the derivatives. God has simply decided to take his children out of this mess. In the true spirit of Baroque ceiling frescoes, this will be a massive rapture of thousands. The Bible makes it clear in a tight prophetic argument uttered tenths of centuries ago.*

The time has come and the chosen families get ready for the moment of ecstasy: What do I wear to the Olympus? Are there naked people in heaven? To whom I leave the house and the beamer? Should I take my cell phone just in case I can make one last call to my stubbornly sinful girlfriend on earth?

What's the matter?

The evidence doesn't matter. Faith is blind & blissed & they need out. The only solution is to wait for Saturday, when around 11:58 pm, the chosen will confront their certainty with the diamantine hardness of the facts. That should be a moment of incredible disbelief.

In the meantime, the rest of us, the non-chosen, will report on Sunday.
*Reportedly this is our fate on Saturday: "A great earthquake will occur. The Bible describes it as 'such as was not since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great.' This earthquake will be so powerful it will throw open all graves. The remains of the all the believers who have ever lived will be instantly transformed into glorified spiritual bodies to be forever with God."


The Mike said...

Yet another great disappointment in the cycles of disappointments since we deigned meet our creator.

No art critic said...

I catch myself laughing at your post and then I realized that this is very, very, very sad. We are in escape mode all the way to heaven.

Feminista said...

Right on target. I'll be here on Sunday.

Dissey said...

The question is, what are these idiots going to do on Sunday?

miamibourbaki said...

It's Sunday! Thanks for the support.